Soiled Celluloid

Soiled Celluloid

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Trying to write something about every movie I see in 2022. If you catch me slipping, please bully me.

Favorite films

  • Brawl in Cell Block 99
  • Phantom of the Paradise
  • The Texas Chain Saw Massacre
  • Big Trouble in Little China

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  • After Death

    ★★★

  • Executioners from Shaolin

    ★★★★

  • Heavy Metal

    ★★★★

  • Mandy

    ★★★★½

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  • Carlito's Way

    Carlito's Way

    ★★★★½

    My Puerto Rican* ass loves this movie.



    * I am not Puerto Rican

  • The Boss Baby: Family Business

    The Boss Baby: Family Business

    ★★★½

    Once again, The Boss Baby sets the bar for what a blockbuster, crowd-pleasing animated family film should look like. Boss Baby 2 is gorgeously animated and directed much like the first and once again shows what digital animation can bring to the table. It works within the confines of a children's movie script but still takes every opportunity to be original and show off cool new ideas.

    Show me an engine that simulates 250 different kinds of snow, I fall…

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  • Cabin Boy

    Cabin Boy

    ★★★★

    Tim Burton turned down directing this and then never got his Superman movie off the ground. That's called karma, nerd.

  • After Death

    After Death

    ★★★

    This took only two weeks to shoot and the production was only able to access the camera around another film's schedule, since they shared the same equipment. During this time, Claudio Fragasso claims to have not slept at all, making this one of the most directly fueled-by-cocaine movies ever.

    It's basically a (barely) more cinematic equivalent to playing Call of Duty: Nazi Zombies. The tone can only be described as "Italian;" bleak in a way that only Rossella Drudi can…

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