Favorite films

  • Apocalypse Now
  • Terminator 2: Judgment Day
  • The Blues Brothers
  • WALL·E

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  • The Mauritanian

    ★★

  • The Worst Person in the World

    ★★★

  • Eternals

    ½

  • King Kong vs. Godzilla

    ★★

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  • Florence Foster Jenkins

    Florence Foster Jenkins

    ★★

    Always follow your dreams. Maybe one day Meryl Streep will portray you in a mediocre biopic.

  • Who Killed Captain Alex?

    Who Killed Captain Alex?

    ★★★★

    Aeons from now, in a time so distant it is unfathomable to the human form, the elder beings descend upon a council at the advent of the death of the universe. They communicate in forms beyond our comprehension to ponder one important point: They still haven't figured out who killed Captain Alex.

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  • The Worst Person in the World

    The Worst Person in the World

    ★★★

    Yeah it's alright but if this was an English language A24 film and was the exact same in every other way y'all would be clowning on it.

  • Eternals

    Eternals

    ½

    The elephant in the room here is that Chloe Zhao isn't even that big of a deal. Best Picture + Best Director looks good on paper until you remember it was for one of the most forgettable awards seasons vehicles ever made that basically only won out (over Minari too, fuck off) due to Hollywood virtue-signalling, self-congratulating themselves by awarding a film that acknowledged the Great Recession actually caused any harm to anyone at all. Where are her actual credentials?…

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  • The Problem with Apu

    The Problem with Apu

    ½

    "I certainly deserve a show."

    An impotent, mewling, self-important tirade by some irrelevant comedian about a cartoon character he doesn't like, fuelled with an incredibly reductive analysis of Apu and what he is designed to reflect in American society, and endless examples from the series that are taken out of context in order to make them seem like they are the problem they are in fact making fun of.

    What's really remarkable to me is how narcissistic this dude is.…

  • The Hateful Eight

    The Hateful Eight

    This review may contain spoilers. I can handle the truth.

    I can't believe I haven't seen this pointed out yet: There are nine of them holed up in the shack. For fuck's sake. Wait no, here's the obligatory plot twist that comes because Quentin Tarantino deliberately obfuscated plot details. As it turns out, it's ten. Learn to count, you hack.

    Now moving on. All of Quentin Tarantino's films are exactly the fucking same and I have finally shed the last sliver of patience I have for his bullshit. Everyone is…